I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I don’t even know what today will bring. I can promise I’ll keep trying through whatever happens. Life isn’t easy. It’s even less easy when you’re the focus of a group of people without lives of their own who like to cause harm and pain as much as possible. But I’m still trying. It’s not my nature to give up, just like I know it isn’t yours. I know you’re tired. I know life can be overwhelming and draining at the same time. But you keep trying. I’ll always be beside you through whatever life throws at us. Let’s keep trying together.
— Read on mindysmanymusings.com/intention-setting/
Everything is Energy
Everything is Energy
Love over Hate
I’ve had people in my life who have done different things to hurt me. People I trusted. People I was related to. They did it out of jealousy. They did it for money. They did it for fun. I will never understand the level of evil they are and I am thankful I won’t. I can’t wrap my mind around it because I could never be like them. I’m looking at a lot of people in this statement, but for this post, I’m looking at you, MC. I’m thankful for creating boundaries with you. You were never on my side. You never cared. And that’s okay. I’m growing and I’ve moved on. Life has blessed me through knowing your intentions. I hope life blesses you in the ways you deserve.
What is a Cult?
You can look up the definition of what a cult is, but until you experience being the target of one, you won’t understand how off that definition is.
To me, a cult is any group of people with bad intentions. A group that knowingly hurts other people for either 1. Money, 2. Power, or 3. Because they’re sick in the head and think it’s fun. Cults can slap on a religious title to grow the group or they find other ways to draw people in, usually feeding off of an individual’s struggles and insecurities to make them feel like they belong so they can hurt them worse.
I am tired of being quiet. I can’t speak the stories of other, but I can speak my own and take back my own power. Feel free to visit my blog, www.iceprincess7770.com for more information to come. My podcast will be up and running soon on Spotify-Iceprincess7770
*Silence does not bring awareness and others need to know they’re not alone*
Calm and Loved
You don’t owe those who hurt you a damn thing. You don’t owe them your time or attention. You don’t owe them an apology for creating boundaries or for walking away. You will never receive an apology from toxic people, the apology they do owe you. They will never admit to the things they have done. They will try to guilt you and pull you back in and continue to use, abuse, and hurt you. They never deserved you in their life. They didn’t have a right to do the things they did. You have the right to find your own peace of mind and to break free from them and their lies. You deserve to have happiness and to find your self-worth, and they will always try to keep that from happening. Move forward. Process your trauma. You don’t owe them anything, but you owe yourself the ability to heal safely and fully.
Possible trigger warning…. healing trauma
We often brush off the trauma family members cause because they are family. We think they do things out of love, but they still hurt us. It causes a conflicting feeling of what love is and it makes learning to cope and deal a struggle. We can heal our trauma. It is okay to create boundaries. It is okay to take care of ourselves. It is okay to feel hurt, damaged, broken, or betrayed by the things they did or that they allowed to happen to us.
We learn nature verse nurture at an early age. We learn trust verses mistrusts. We often think every family is the same and it’s okay and normal what we’ve been through. We don’t know it is trauma. If we try to talk about it at an early age, we get silenced. We carry the pain and baggage with us through the years and have no clue what is okay, what isn’t, and how to speak about it because of being silenced for so long.
I am hear to tell you, if they hurt you, it wasn’t okay. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your choice. You believed in them to take care of you and they didn’t. You trusted them to keep you safe and they didn’t. It is a them problem and not a you problem. But if you don’t try to heal, if you don’t learn how to cope, what they did to you becomes a you problem. You aren’t able to let things go. It builds. It causes unhealthy coping mechanism. It causes defense mechanisms. They don’t care about what they did to you or how you struggle into your adulthood. That’s a hard pill to swallow, but if you’re going to learn to work through things, it’s a stepping stone.
You have to focus on unlearning their methods. You have to learn what makes you happy, even if it goes against everything they’ve ever said to you. It’s a process that requires time and patience. Some wounds are too deep to try and heal. You learn to live with these traumas. But some of them are able to be healed. You learn to trust again. You learn to live again. I am here to tell you it is possible. I believe in you. And sometimes just knowing one person does believe in you, it makes the difference. It let’s healing begin.