Do you ever just wish God would be like, “Hey, this is my plan for you. First, you’ll do this. Next, you’ll do that. There will be some obstacles, but finally, you’ll arrive at this destination,”? It really would make it easier if we knew what God’s plan was for us. To know exactly what’s to happen, when it’s to happen and exactly how we are to get there. That isn’t walking by faith. It really wouldn’t be putting your trust in knowing God knows you by name, has laid your path long before you were born, and knows exactly where you are to end up. Faith isn’t always an easy thing. When the difficulties and struggles are mounting, and you feel like you are drowning, having faith tends to be the last thing on one’s mind. We panic. We focus on the problems and the negative. We question why life has to be so hard. We become angry at God for letting it all happen and don’t understand why he just won’t make it better already. There’s a bigger picture at play; however, even in the worst struggles. During my most challenging times, I felt God had left me and didn’t think I deserved happiness or anything good in my life. I didn’t feel like I was good enough, so how could God think I was? My mind would lie to me and think God just wanted me to give up and die. I would still pray. My prayers came as screaming. I would wait for the answers. My prayers came in the form of tears that ran down my face. I would wait for the answers. And then something would happen to let me know God was still with me. He needed me to keep going and keep living and keep believing in HIS plan and HIS timing, not mine. The saying about when one door closes, another one opens is true. God closes doors that aren’t part of the bigger picture. He knew when I wasn’t able to shut the door on my own. He knew when something wasn’t right for me so he stepped in and moved me along so I continue on the path he already created for me. The times that brought me to my knees ended up being his way of reminding me of the strength I already had in me to keep going. I ended up realizing God didn’t give up on me. I had given up on myself. He’d nudge and try to redirect me to find my purpose in the plan he created. But I wasn’t always willing to listen. Those soul-shaking times, that was when God mad it known I needed to have patience while his plan was coming together. If it weren’t for God and faith, I wouldn’t be where I’m at today. I am sure there will be more obstacles along my path, but I’m thankful for the journey. I know God has an amazing plan for me all laid out. And if God is for me, that’s all I need to know to have faith in him and myself. I will end up exactly where I am meant to be.
2 Corinthians 5:7
For we walk by faith, not by sight.
If God is for us, who can be against us?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
God is within her, she will not fall.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.