Assistance and Discrimination

There are times when you may face struggles in life. You may fall upon hard times, and you might have to reach out for help. There are different programs out there meant to help people get back on their feet. Unfortunately, there are times when companies judge those who are struggling. They treat those needing the help as if they are milking the system and asking for handouts. There are people who do that, but there are those who need help until they can recover and get back on their feet from whatever is taking place.

It isn’t easy to be judged for struggling, for lacking the income that so many take for granted (I’m looking at you Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris as you have cars handed to you after keeping your relationship hidden years as to not lose your sponsors and money). On top of that judgment, some also face discrimination while seeking that help that is so hard to ask for while keeping your pride intact.

I’m a lesbian. My wife and I were needing assistance. We reached out. And we ended up with a caseworker who decided to mess with our benefits because she doesn’t approve of our lifestyle. She doesn’t get paid to judge people. She doesn’t get paid to decide if our life is right or wrong. She tried to deny us benefits, lower benefits, misplaced paperwork, didn’t do the paperwork. It was one headache after another. Eventually, her supervisor had to be brought into it. It still doesn’t change what she did to us hurt us. She caused us to struggle even more than we already were. All because she thought the choice was hers to punish us for not agreeing with our love for one another.

We all have choices in life. We can choose to be bitter, miserable people who abuse the power we are given and choose to hurt others for our own beliefs. Or we can choose to be kind and help others when we are able. We can choose to be ignorant, intolerant human beings. Or we can choose to understand and be open to things that are different than we are used to. I hope if you have the opportunity to help someone less fortunate than yourself, you choose to do so. And not to boost your fame, or to gain public attention, but because your heart is telling you it’s the right thing to do. If you work in a setting where it is your job to help those less fortunate, I hope you do so with patience and grace.



Dear Brittany

Dear Brittany,
Every day I’m thankful I get to wake up beside you. Each day, I know I am blessed to have you as my wife. At night, I love to fall asleep with my arm around you, making you know you are safe and home with me. I love our hug and our kisses. I love our date nights and the time we make for just us. I love cuddling you on the couch while we watch tv or holding you while you sleep. We have an amazing life together. I never knew I could be this happy. I didn’t know it was possible for someone to want and love me the way you do. This life with you means everything to me. You mean everything to me. I love you with everything in me.


Spirituality verses Religion

Spirituality isn’t the same as being religious. Many mistake the two. You don’t have to be religious to believe in a higher power. You don’t find your spirituality inside a church or inside of a Bible. Spirituality is awakening oneself to see there is something, anything, greater than themselves. One may find the connection to spirituality in nature. The universe if greater than myself. For some, God is greater. And yet others find that there is a magical realm greater. There is something greater at work and we as humans want to help this be released into our own lives.

When trying to reach spirituality, many will look for causes that will help to open their hearts. Doing volunteer work or standing behind causes they believe in can help open the heart to there being more. Others will pray or mediate. Praying and meditating are ways to open the heart, that is unique to the person, and allows for deeper meanings to surface. Journaling is another excellent aspect for tuning into one’s spiritual side. Journaling is an outlet that lets a person express themselves without holding back. A gratitude journal really lets one express the things they’re grateful for and puts life into perspective, even during trying times.

Whatever calls to your spirit, explore it. Don’t let religious leaders, or people who think they know what is best for you, deter you from seeking what moves your soul. Let your heart and your soul find where you’re suppose to be and what you are to believe in.


My Wife is Strong

Dear Wife,

Some think strength is about how much weight you can lift. Your strength comes from the heaviness of the world around you trying to bring you to your knees, yet you keep standing up. I have seen you withstand so much, so many things meant to hurt you in so many ways, by so many people. Yet, you don’t give up. You’re like a solid redwood growing in the forest. Your branches may sway in the storms, but you stay rooted. I know it isn’t easy. I know there are days when it’s overwhelming. I know there are times you’d like to give up. I know life has been far from fair to you. But you’re still here. Still here for me and the kids to love. Still here facing each day. You’re stronger than you realize. When you feel weak, you’re strong. When you’re tired, you’re strong. When you’re exhausted, you’re strong. It’s okay to have days where you need some time to work through the heavy stuff. It’s okay to break down. It’s okay to feel however you need to feel, as you are the only one who can decide that one. I just want you to know, I’m here. I’m here for the good days, the hard days, the I-want-to-give-up days. I’ll be here to remind you that you are loved, and wanted, and needed. That you aren’t what this world has done to you. You are actually the complete opposite of the things that have been done to you. You’re love, you’re silliness, you’re happiness. You are special, you are important. You are everything to me.


Your Wife