Beacon of Joy, Ray of Sunshine

They never knew me. Or the light that’s within me. You do. You always have and always will.

They said I was miserable. They said I was depressed. They said I was poison. They said I would always fail. They said I would always fall down. They never knew me. Their words never mattered. It took time before I realized their words didn’t matter. How could words from people who only wanted to see me as the words they picked out ever know me? Did they ask me how I was? Did they really listen to anything I said? Did they even care? No. I was to be a pawn. Used by people who were to be my friends and family. I was only ever to be the words they used to describe me, but I never was any of those things. Did I have times when I was down? Yes. I’m human. Did I have times when I struggled? Yes, doesn’t everyone? But those things didn’t make me a miserable, depressed mess. It was a single paragraph in the book of my life. It didn’t define me. And how they saw me didn’t either. I’m a happy person. I’m an optimistic person. I look for ways to help others and always try to make people feel better. Those who used and abused me taught me everything I wasn’t. They taught me I never wanted to be like them. They took their own personalities and cast their darkness onto me, but their darkness wasn’t mine to carry. I am the light. I’ve always been the light. It wasn’t until I found my love, or more like we found each other, that I really realized I wasn’t the words used to describe me. She helped to bring out who I really am, who I’ve always been, but others tried to take away. She brought out all the good in me and helped me to really shine. She showed me people can only hold me back if I let them. And that with her beside me, I’d never have to go at anything alone. She’s stood beside me, has countered everything the others said, and showed me how much love I deserve and how bright my light really is.




Stronger than Evil

You have strength on your side.

The world is full of evil people. Evil comes in all forms. It comes with money. It comes with lies. It comes with power. It comes with abuse. It comes with fakeness.

There are celebrities helping sex trafficking and child trafficking. There are those who belong to sex cults and have millions to cover it up. There are those who behind church and religious doors and pretend to preach love and kindness while having secret areas where children are hurt. There are officers, judges, and doctors who can be bought to cover up abuse and crime. Those with the most money carry the most power and can put money into the pockets of others to just about anything they want. They are fake to your face. They pretend to be kind, caring, and compassionate, but after enough meetings they start to tell you everything that is wrong with you and how they expect you to change it. When you don’t, there are consequences.

Everywhere you look, there is someone willing to hurt someone else for the right dollar amount or the right amount of drugs. There are people who thrive on abusing others. Narcissists that can play the role of the greatest person ever and then behind closed doors, the mask comes off. There are family members who tell you they will support you and they love you to your face and behind your back they hurt you in every way possible.

The world is full of evil people. If you are one of them, just know your time will run out. If you aren’t one of them, keep fighting the good fight. Keep standing up. Keep fighting back. Keep pushing through. Keep being stronger than the evil around you. Your day is also coming. A day when you can be free of all the evil trying to stop you from achieving what you are after in life.