Trying to be somebody…

be_the_change_by_sciophobik

Have you ever felt this desire, this need, to want to be more? Like there’s so much good you can do in this world, but you aren’t quite sure how to go about doing it? That’s me on the daily. I like making things. I’m crafty. So I like to try and figure out what I might be able to do with that. Or a way to make a difference in the community. Or a way to make it so people all over the world want to share their stories without fear. My mind constantly races with so many thoughts on how to do more, to be more, that it can be overwhelming. I’ve gone through a lot the last couple of years and it’s changed me to some extent. But at the core, I’m still me. I still want to believe in good in this world. I want to be the change (“You must be the change you wish to see in this world,” -Gandhi). I’m not sure to start though. I’ll make lists. Little things I can do. And work to bigger things. I don’t want to do these things to make a name for myself. I don’t want to be the person who has an ulterior motive. You see those types of people alllllll the time. They are the ones who flock to social media sites and are are like “I did this and this and this so praise me on this post for being so great….” That’s not what making a difference is about. It isn’t about getting a million followers. It isn’t about making your ego bigger. It’s about that feeling you get when someone else’s day is better. Watching someone smile because something good went their way. 

The last two years have taught me what I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be the fake person who acts like they’re about doing good deeds for publicity or money. I don’t want to be the type of person who makes others believe because I did something for them, they owe me. I don’t want power over people. I want to lift someone up when they’re down. I want to help. I want to heal. I want to protect. I just want to do so much. I want to be a better person than I was yesterday, for myself and for others. I know I can be a better person and I know I can make a difference. One step at a time. 

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